Harmonious Balance

How does one find their artistic voice?  How does one grow confident in their voice and vision?  When one strays from their voice, how do they adjust to come back to their voice or make a conscious choice to move away into a new direction? 

Those are some of the questions I’m pondering this week as I’m having some mental challenges with my photography.  I’m not sure where these challenges are coming from and I’m not sure what triggered them to be with me now.  But they are and I’m trying to process and deal with the stuff that’s coming up.

For me, I have this need to continually grow and develop….professionally, artistically, personally.  If I’m not growing and being challenged, then I feel restless and unfulfilled.  Maybe it’s the sense of accomplishment, or pride in growth, or whatever the feeling is that brings me satisfaction and internal rewards.  I’m very much an internally driven person.

Right now, I’m not growing photographically and I’m suffering from a lack of confidence in my work.  This is causing me to be unsettled and a bit reluctant to pick up the camera…..which is EXACTLY the thing I need to do to get myself out of this funk.  Funny how that works LOL

Trying to balance my strong passions for photography and everything I want to do with it, alonside all of the other demands on my life is proving to be a challenge.  I’m struggling with this and not sure how to solve quite yet.  Life is such a rich abundance of experiences and opportunities and I want to experience them all, but to do that, not much time is left over for family, friends, or concentrated, devoted effort on my photography. 

I feel like I’m at a cross-roads with my art.  I could back-off and try and be content with it being a nice “hobby” and hope I can maintain interest in it if I’m not moving forward, or, I can devote the time and energy to make it something more than a hobby, which means I’ll have to sacrifice in other parts of my life until I can achieve a harmonious balance between all of the competing priorities.  This is where I sit today. 

This is something that only I can resolve; there are no doctors, pills, quick fixes or panaceas for my situation.  The best way I know to work through this is with much self-reflection, soul searching, evaluation of priorities and what I think will make me happiest, and then make a plan to achieve what I decide.  

I believe that all of us go through periods in life that test our resolve, that try our patience, or that cause a deep-seated indecision. It’s normal, it’s natural.  The real test is how we cope with it and how we work to resolve these turbulent times.